so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
