Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
