Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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