Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize