Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
we should paint friendship bongs
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
