what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
