haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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