Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
