Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
