you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
