whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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