they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
