So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
