I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
