4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
