Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
