i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
