I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
