I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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