be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
