I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
