Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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