saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
