Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
