There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
