she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
