1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
