Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
