There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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