omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
