honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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