just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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