So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So vagazzling was a success
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize