Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
