Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
