Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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