Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
my poor anus
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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