remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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