And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
