He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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