I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
