I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
