dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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