i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
