Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Acid is not a monday night drug
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
