He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
