I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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