This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
