what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
