69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
