you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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