Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
