Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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