Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize