guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
