dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
