i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
