I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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