She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
