ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
