Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
