Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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