thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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