Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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