you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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