Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
