somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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