Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
