I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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