She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
