It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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