lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize