How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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