So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
