I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
