Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
