I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
