ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
