k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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