so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
