i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
