am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
