question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
