He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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