A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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