if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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