All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
