I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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