I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
