thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
