i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
