Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
