That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
