These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
