Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
