Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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