You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
